Great post, absolutely halarious! Whatever you do, make sure you stick those pic's away for future reference.......say 20-30 years from now, real gems that you and the "princess" can share and enjoy later.
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KC
Weber Performer with rotisserie ring, 22.5OTS, Maverick 732, Weber Smokey Joe,PBC Smokenator/Hoovergrill, variety of microbrews, Gin and tonic, variety of lighters. 
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