Jalapenos are grown and graded for heat, most restaurants use mild jalapenos. There was a thread here awhile back about this. Try doing a search but if you find a restaurant that uses the mild ones ask if you can order some or buy some.
I have not tried the milk or oil and will give that a try because as much as I like the heat there are times I just want the taste and my wife would love to have it that way. I have gutted them but they still have a lot of heat to me.
Lg Spicewine on trailer
Weber charcoal grill
2 ugly drums, semi retired
Bbq toolbox, formerly Chargrill smoker
My wife has gas, its a Brinkman.