Yep, milk works really well. Although one thing is all of my kids told me the peppers were too mild with ABT's, removing the veins and seeds was all it took for them to be happy.
Another thing that you might enjoy if you like the heat is to take the seeds and veins and soak them in some oil, and make yourself some jalapeno oil. My wife LOVES it when I use that stuff to cook with.
The Life of the Knife is Ended By! The Wife.