This get's my vote for "Best Dirty Thread Title of the Year Award". Classic!
Back to question- I built my UDS with one big(1-1/2")pipe for the intake with ball valve. Works great and there's no bending over to adjust the air.
UDS'-55&16, Akorn, Bar-B-Q Kettle, Drum Grill, miniWSM, cobweb-covered gasser. I'm JD.