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Unread 01-18-2011, 09:19 PM   #1
barbefunkoramaque
Babbling Farker
 
Join Date: 11-11-07
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Default 7 Minute Review of Spring Creek BBQ

Attachment 49316
Spring "Creak" BBQ

I have done so many restaurant consultations that I always can sum up a shack within a short time. In fact this review took longer to write than experience.

Today I was getting some felt at Walmart for my 100 Year Old Printing Press the kids are using and I noticed a cop and I had an expired tag so I ducked into the New Spring Creek BBQ they built near my town.

In front... stacks of red oak... PROMISING!!!!! I walked in and saw - sadly - two giant Old Hickory Pits... not really what I like to see for a joint that size. But that was not the problem as I have seen bad Q and great Q come out of the same Oyler pit... which is the best Industrial Pit ever made. I call an Oyler Pit the UDS of Industrial Pits... all 4000 pounds of it... before you even add the meat... but I digress...

I walked up and I am looking at their slicing table and this kid that looked like he should know a thing or two asked what I'd like to have. I was thinking as I always do... if you can't sell me on your sample I will not buy... I will just go home and throw my own pre-smoked meat in my freezer in the oven.

I asked for a "slice of bark" and point to the PILE of half pound to 2 pound scraps dumped in a section closest to him. I assumed that they, like Rudys separate and let you have lean or juicy.

But the kid reached for the stuff closer to me... flats. I said "no, the point meat over there, please." He says, "This? This is garbage." I asked what did he mean... as he began slicing the bark OFF a section of flat meat but only so his slices would have NO bark.

He explains "this is the fatty garbage meat that we take off."

Now let me tell you: there must of been three full points of total meat there. So this kid... nice kid... ignores what I asked for... obviously thrown by my request for a free sample and he continues to slice the rather dry and tough looking flats for me.

I tell him... "that is NOT garbage... it is the premium of the entire brisket and its called 'the Deckle', 'Fatty End,' 'Point' or 'Loose Cut.'" He did not get my speech on the origins of "deckle."

So what does he do? He starts to trim the bark off. I assumed to feed me what I asked. Nooooooooooooooo, it was so he could give me the gray meat with NO bark at all.

I said, "those pieces you threw in the "garbage pile" THAT's what I want to taste."

Right as he was about to hand it to me, seeming to get the idea another guy snatches it from him and says "I am so sorry sir" and AGAIN dumps the point meat and starts to trim a flat of its bark for me.

IT WAS FARKIN KAFKA!!!!!

The manager says "we use this pile here for sandwiches" pointing to the point meat and bark trimmings.

At this point my forehead is pressed against the glass until they stopped cutting.

I said:

"Okay everyone put their knives in the air" as I raised my hand. "Okay... touch this meat here," and I point to the pile of flats. "This pile where you have 5 cuts of meat drying out on the butcher block here, that is called 'The flat. Now put the tip of your knife on it."

They do so and I asked them to repeat it... "flaaaaat cut... lean cut...." Everyone in the joint looked at me like they had swallowed a bottle of cough syrup.

"Now take your knife off boys and put it on that pile" They did slowly. "Now you are touching the POINT meat... know as the 'juicy cut' (being careful there not to test the profanity censor... hee hee). It is also called the Deckle.. which is German for 'flimsy thing,' or the fatty end. IT is in no way 'GARBAGE.'"

"The..., in this case 'black parts' are called BARK! That piece you have your knife on.. that's what I want to taste."

The guy hands it to me....

I am thinking... this is in fact Garbage... being some of the worse soot flavored crap I have ever had in my mouth and no other flavor at all other than creosote. Its rightful place is either in the garbage or in a tub of sauce to add smoke. They are clueless and I see why... they are thinking "who is this idiot coming in to taste the garbage."

I said thanks boys and left. I am so glad I did not spend a dime there.


Attachment 49315
If you Google Images for "Spring Creek BBQ" this sexy Appolonia baby pops up. Her name is longhornlady07 and "Got Damn" if I I don't want to handle her juicy cut. DAMN... This was my payment for the experience. It makes me hotter thinking its someone's daughter. Whew!
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Last edited by barbefunkoramaque; 04-03-2011 at 03:30 PM..
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