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Old 05-15-2010, 07:20 PM   #1

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Join Date: 10-05-08
Location: Hiding out from blood suck ghost snake gods, Nazis and scrap iron chefs trying to harvest body parts
Default Cooking with the Master: Episode IV

I (Gore): Ladies, Gentlemen, Good evening, and welcome to "Cooking with the Master," a show about cooking. The Master is not with us for this week’s episode and has asked me and Ninja Squirrel to make this presentation. This week’s show is all about potatoes. I will demonstrate for you the proper way of preparing and especially stuffing potatoes to make delicious meals. Ninja Squirrel and I will be …

Producer: Excuse me Gore, but the results of our surveys have come in and our ratings are so low, our sponsors are fleeing in droves.

I (Gore): Master is off in Memphis this week doing some surveillance … errr, sightseeing and will be back next week. I’m up to speed and can present this very well.

Producer: Sponsors only care about ratings now. It’s not exactly your presentation, but uhhh, you see, this show appears during the family hour and it seems that you ... frighten the children. They’re looking for someone with a … more cuddly disposition [looks toward the sous chef].

I (Gore): Noooooo!

Producer: I’m so sorry Gore.

I (Gore): I’ll be out back, minding the pits.

Producer: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present this week’s episode of “Cooking with the Master,” starring Ninja Squirrel!

[Wild cheers and applause from audience]

Ninja Squirrel: Squeak, squeak, squeak….

Narrator translates: Thank you, thank you, it is my pleasure to present to you something of great interest, perhaps the most wonderful food in the entire world, the peanut, and a root, no less! This week, we will discuss the making of smoked peanut butter!

[Cheers from the audience]

Ninja Squirrel: Squeak, squeak, squeak….

Narrator translates: To begin, we prepare the raw peanuts, removing their outer skins. This can be done more easily by freezing them first.

Ninja Squirrel: Squeak, squeak, squeak….

Narrator translates: I place the peanuts in a pie pan and roast them for approximately an hour at 350 – 400*, stirring often.

Ninja Squirrel: Squeak, squeak, squeak….

Narrator translates: While these are roasting I prepare the bread.

Ninja Squirrel: Squeak, squeak, squeak….

Narrator translates: When the peanuts come off, the bread can go on!

When the peanuts are cool, I place in a blender, add some salt, a bit of peanut oil, and a secret ingredient – no peeking! Gore prefers chunky peanut butter, but this week, I’m making smooth and creamy!

The bread is sliced. Gore prefers his bread untoasted, but I’m toasting this to perfection!

[Audience Oooos and Aaaaahhs]

And of course you can't have peanut butter without a glass of milk.

[As the credits roll by and the audience applauds]

Narrator: This episode of “Cooking with the Master” was brought to you by the BBQ Brethren Throwdown sub-forum found at the top of Q-talk or at
Please join us every week to enter and/or vote for your favorite entry. There are lots of great dishes this and every week and you can read about them all in the entry threads!

Producer: Great job Ninja! We just had a rating spike! Mr. Big is on the phone now. He’s talking exclusive advertising of his new “Extra Fuzzy Rub!” You could be getting your own show!

I (Gore): That’s a wrap!
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Last edited by Gore; 05-15-2010 at 09:44 PM..
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