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Plata-O-Plomo 02-11-2020 11:36 AM

I Got an A$$hole Neighbor
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So I purchased the house I am now living in last spring. Only after moving in did I discover that one of my neighbors is a total a$$hole. He complained to me that the previous owner had a meat smoker and that he did not like the smell. So I unloaded my fleet of five smokers and a grill. I fired one up as soon as possible.

Over last summer he complained no less than three times asking me to move my smokers from under the patio I built for the smokers to the opposite side yard of my property. He said the smoke flows into his garage.

Yesterday I smoked up a Mexican style meat loaf, a fatty and some poppers. Total smoke time was 3 hours in that I staggered the start times. I used the YS640 so the smoke was not billowing.

Last night my neighbor and his wife came to my door. He asked me to stop smoking meat or to move the smokers (he offered to help). He said the smoke flowed into his garage and he just had shoulder surgery. Then the old lady pipes in and says that he has asthma. It must have been minor surgery because he was detailing his truck earlier in the day. He then tells me that my smoking last week at eight at night was disturbing. I happened to be out of town last week and did not have a smoker rolling. He closed out his pleasing by telling me he wants to be a good neighbor and again asked me to move the smokers or stop smoking meat. I told him that I have been smoking meat for decades and do not intend to stop or move my smokers. I stepped back inside and closed the door on them.

So, I live in a neighborhood with CC&R's. My neighbor is responsible for 90% of all complaints to the association (per the association). Our properties are a bit larger than a normal single family tract home. My neighbor likes to leave the pedestrian door to his garage open. I think he likes to spend time in his garage so he is not inside with his wife. His garage is totally clean and detailed. I actually would love to have mine look like his. I feed the neighbors on my other side with my BBQ but not the complainers because I really don't like him. He is a short little man with a big man's complex. A total dick!

By the way, the Mexican style meat loaf is awesome!

Sorry, I just have to vent on this.

ShadowDriver 02-11-2020 11:42 AM

I'm especially impressed with your ability to blow smoke via remote ventriloquism from out of town. :roll:

Whisky 02-11-2020 11:48 AM


Originally Posted by ShadowDriver (Post 4270741)
I'm especially impressed with your ability to blow smoke via remote ventriloquism from out of town. :roll:

I would get a Wifi cooker and crank that thing up every single time I'm out of town.....Just cuz.

Also, probably why my closest neighbor is about 1.5 miles away.

OP, I'm certainly not envious of your situation. That sure takes the fun out of it a little. I think you have handled it well thus far.

pmad 02-11-2020 11:58 AM

You could try to cooperate a bit.
You're not being a very good neighbor either.
Tell them you built the patio for the smokers and that you're not moving them.
However, it would be nice to run a fan blowing in the opposite direction of his house.
Little effort but makes you look cooperative.
Be a good neighbor

Stlsportster 02-11-2020 12:23 PM

Maybe he’s really not mad about the meat smoking, he just doesn’t have the heart to tell you it’s because you’re a Bruins fan.

Let’s Go BLUES!

BuffettFan 02-11-2020 12:30 PM

I'm lucky.
My house is on a stair-stepped hillside, so only the neighbor on the next step up gets my smoke.
He'll just holler down to ask what time and what should he bring.

Plata-O-Plomo 02-11-2020 12:31 PM

Thanks for the input pmad. Months ago I spoke with the neighbor, Wayne, and told him that I would pretty much use the pellet pooper to keep the smoke down. I informed him that I built the patio cover to cover the smokers so were up to speed on that. I also explained to him about the weight of the smokers and to move them every time I wanted to use one would be unreasonable. I am not sure a fan will work but I will give it a shot. I have already planted trees as a barrier and am thinking about putting up a sail like wind barrier.

Wayne is really weird. The previous owner of my house was a warrior. He had been shot twice while over seas and was on the ISIS hit list. Because of this he took his security pretty seriously. He had a couple of young kids. My a$$hole neighbor set up a couple of surveillance cameras to record the kids when they were playing. One was pointed into the warriors backyard. Wayne had complained about the kids being loud when they played. He was recording the kids to prove that the kids were loud. The warrior had to take him to court to remove the cameras. I probably would have had him arrested. Perve

hedonsmbot 02-11-2020 12:44 PM

You have my sympathy. To have a neighbor that's been taught to leverage their vicimhood as a club against others is a nightmare.
If this person is being victimized by prevailing winds and seeking recompense from his neighbor for it then there is likely no limit on his future demands. The presence of an enabling wife is also a bad sign.

I'd make a token gesture of neighborly good will and do so knowing full well it will be met with nothing but scorn.
When he takes his passive aggressive theater to the next level, kill him with kindness. Smile in passing, wave, say good morning, and ignore the daggers you get back.

It'll still suck for you, but it'll suck for him worse.

Bigbears BBQ 02-11-2020 12:45 PM

I would probably try the fan but wouldn’t go any further than that, he has the right to complain and you have the right to keep using your back yard as you see fit.

boogiechillen 02-11-2020 12:53 PM

Hard to come up with a reasonable solution with an unreasonable person.

If it is possible, a fan to blow the smoke up or away might help or the wind block you mentioned.

Doesn’t sound like it would really matter if it did help as he was complaining about a time when you weren’t in town and could just have been another neighbor’s smoke from further away.

Good luck.

SweetHeatBBQnSC 02-11-2020 12:55 PM

Man this totally sucks! Once again makes me happy and reminds me of why I live in the country.

thirdeye 02-11-2020 12:59 PM

Obviously the normal suggestion of giving your neighbor some occasional BBQ isn't going to solve the problem. It might be time for the Voodoo Doktor to whip a bad neighbor spell on him.

93_confirmed 02-11-2020 01:03 PM

What has the association said about this? Has he taken it to them yet?

FrankZ 02-11-2020 01:04 PM

He could close the open garage door.

Plata-O-Plomo 02-11-2020 01:20 PM

I am not sure if he has taken it to the association or if he will. I started to send them an email but have a hard time taking something so petty to them. I decided to wait to see if he makes a complaint.

I am thinking that when the summer gets here I should invest in a boom box for the backyard. Maybe some party lights and then become a nudest. let's see how he likes looking at a naked 60 year old man with a big boiler or a 57 year old wife whose getting a little saggy too. LOL

Okay, I will be a good neighbor and keep my boiler well hidden from public view. I am going to move things around on the patio this afternoon to see if I can do more to mitigate his concerns. Cleaning the patio, what a better excuse to hang out and have a couple beers.

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