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View Full Version : When you gotta cut them loose.


txschutte
11-22-2012, 09:23 PM
I have been the head cook and chief financier of my cooking team for the last 18 months. I have paid all entry fees, rounded up the meat sponsor, worked recipes, etc.

But now, I wanna let my family (wife and kids) in on my pasttime and use it for bonding.

Honestly, I feel like my other team members are riding my coattails and are contributing zilch, besides taking pics at awards.


Would I be a douche if I simply said "sayonara", and take all my toys, including the logo and team name, and ventured with my wife and kids?

MilitantSquatter
11-22-2012, 09:31 PM
not at all.... especially if it was on your dime.

family first...

Gadragonfly
11-22-2012, 09:40 PM
Are they Brethren? You may have just told them :eek:

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2

"Bone to Bark" BBQ
11-22-2012, 09:53 PM
Cut 'em loose!

JazzyBadger
11-22-2012, 09:56 PM
Really, what's the worst that could happen? Insofar as I see it, worst case scenario would be that those cut loose might stop being your friend. If that is in fact the worst case scenario, and you can deal with that, then by all means go for it.

Your money, your time, your desire to spend said time and money with family, means they can choke. At least in my world of questionable morals.

Lake Dogs
11-22-2012, 10:49 PM
I agree with all that has been said above, however framed in: "it depends on what has
been the agreement between you and these other guys up until this point" and some of "how it came to be"

But, if it's your team, you named it, you paid for team gear, you've paid for the meats, supplies, entry fees, smoking gear, etc. then yeah, cut 'em loose and do what you must.

Rookie'48
11-22-2012, 11:07 PM
Boy-B-Q rides again :grin:.

jbrink01
11-23-2012, 08:00 AM
Nope. It's your ball, you can take it and go home whenever you want.

timzcardz
11-23-2012, 08:54 AM
Included in the price of financing everything is the right to have the final say on everything.


But if there any batteries involved, then leave them, because batteries are never included. :wink:

.

NRA4Life
11-23-2012, 08:55 AM
Do it. My wife and I were the team until our daughter was born, now I just cook by myself. If your teammates aren't contributing, you don't need them. Family time and bonding is important.

4 smokin butts
11-23-2012, 09:01 AM
dont cut them loose,keep them on back burner for when family cant help or go ,we did 35 this year,the wife and i,sometime kids,get extra help from team when she cant go ,or have a judge cook with u ,thats a different subject:clap: keep family involved when ever possable !!!!

The Virginian
11-23-2012, 11:18 AM
I would change the name of the team if you can get your sponsors to agree. Unless your team members were just total leaches, which I doubt, they have contributed time and effort into building up the team. I would offer them the team name, just make a clean break and let them know you are starting a new team with your family.

Brett

Rich Parker
11-23-2012, 11:49 AM
Keep them to make boxes. :thumb:

Kit R
11-23-2012, 11:51 AM
I would change the name of the team if you can get your sponsors to agree. Unless your team members were just total leaches, which I doubt, they have contributed time and effort into building up the team. I would offer them the team name, just make a clean break and let them know you are starting a new team with your family.

Brett

Great idea. Unless they have read this thread, you can just say "hey guys I want to do my own thing with my family next year. I think it's only fair that I not take 'our' team name along with me since 'we' are the team. I wish you all the best in 2013". No one's forcing you to compete with these guys, and any leverage they might have had as a member of the previous team is gone because YOU stepped away. Hopefully you can carry over the relationships with sponsor(s) to this new team. Good luck.

Dr_KY
11-23-2012, 12:41 PM
Have a chat and cut the cord. Let them know where you are coming from so no one is butthurt causing personal friction. Is easy to revamp when there is no drama but I can promis ya there is always a little speaking from experience.

If they are interested in forming a team of their own offer advice as any good friend and a true brethren would/should and remember to ignore the negative folks..... It's funny to watch them follow your lead while talking smack.

Hahaha!

wingpirate
12-05-2012, 10:45 AM
If I were in your shoes, as suggested above, I would option the team brand to the other members. I think that this shows good faith on your behalf, because even though you were the primary financier and cook (and equipment purchaser), you are willing to share your brand with them and send them off with something to work with and be proud of.

If these folks have cooked with you for a long time, I don't see feelings getting hurt. One of my teams that cooks only once a year is a veritable revolving door. I've only had to ask people to walk away a few times, and I still maintain a decent relationship with the former members.

Wampus
12-05-2012, 11:19 AM
I joined an already existing team last season. When I did so, I did so with the agreement that I was not going to be "PB", but an equal member. I've contributed financially all season long, attended a class, etc., and have been part of most all practices, recipe development, etc.

I also joined and while we considered it, we didn't change the name, but kept it as it was before I came along.

I know it's a different circumstance than you're talking about, but a couple questions to consider:


Are/were these your friends before you started competing together? If so, will this affect that friendship?

Have there been difficulties along the way between you and other team members or is this truly just a desire to include family?

If you just want to include family, can you do that and still keep other team members involved? In other words, can you do both? Perhaps you can just tell the team that you want your family involved and they may or may not decide to stay around or not?




Ultimately, it sounds like it's your team, but I know if Jimmy up and told me that I was out, it wouldn't sit well with me. As I said, we're not in the same situation, but I'm a big part of the team.

I'd thik at the minimum, a nice chat would be in order to discuss possibilities?

chriscw81
12-05-2012, 11:26 AM
Surely there is a tactful and polite way to break the news to them. If they can't understand that......well, they aren't you're friend anyways.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2

Bourbon Barrel BBQ
12-05-2012, 11:53 AM
Unless they are causing problems why cut them loose? You are already paying for everything it just seems like you should expand your team IMO. If they have a problem with their responsibilities being cut back thats on them. I wouldn't throw away help unless said help was draining more money than kicking them off the team.

BruceB
12-05-2012, 11:57 AM
Donald Trump "You're Fired" - YouTube

BBQ Bandit
12-05-2012, 12:02 PM
Until someone has a vested interest - you have the final executive decision as CEO, Financier, and Accountant.

Or next year give then a buy-in option, say $750 per person.

Shotgun
12-05-2012, 01:30 PM
I went thru this when my brother decided to do the family thing and the team understood. It gave me an opportunity to get my own team going and after a couple of years apart, we are now back together and better for it. Just dont beat around the bush and be honest with them. They will understand if they are true friends.

landarc
12-05-2012, 01:34 PM
I can't see how, if you tell them it is because you want to pull in family and make it more of a family thing, that any good friend will have an issue with it. Heck, twas me, I would just tell you to keep my number handy.

As I recall, your team was all about cooking in the service of God anyways, not about the winning (I know we all like to win) so, I gotta believe this is a simple thing.

WineMaster
12-05-2012, 02:20 PM
Talk to them about it. Mabey you could come to an understanding where everyone wins. Do some with your family and a couple fun comps with the buddies. Balance is the key! Either way.

mad mike
12-05-2012, 04:56 PM
give them the option of buying in to see how interested they really are, if they aren't you may be able to pull the plug without burning a bridge you may need to cross in the future

JS-TX
12-06-2012, 09:57 AM
Sounds like to me you just want to make it a family thing which is understandable considering it's all your equipment, recipes, money etc.. I would just tell them you are starting a new team with just family and they are welcome to form their own using the orginal team name.

However, if these are friends you don't want to lose and you just wish they would contribute to the team, have them pitch in some $ for every comp. that way if you don't win any prize money it's not just you that "donated to the comp". If you do win some money, splitting the $ after all expenses would be the fair thing to do.

Slamdunkpro
12-06-2012, 01:16 PM
Why should the brand owner give up their brand (team name) unless there was some kind of partnership agreement on the part of all parties? It's the OP's team, team members come and go.

Pig Headed
12-06-2012, 01:26 PM
Why should the brand owner give up their brand (team name) unless there was some kind of partnership agreement on the part of all parties? It's the OP's team, team members come and go.

I agree, that doesn't make sense to me. If they're true friends, they should understand. Family is family.

Rick Hamilton
12-06-2012, 03:25 PM
Honestly, I feel like my other team members are riding my coattails and are contributing zilch, besides taking pics at awards.


Would I be a douche if I simply said "sayonara", and take all my toys, including the logo and team name, and ventured with my wife and kids?

Heck no. You want to hang with your family...that is great and to be applauded. Now, instead of not talking to your teammates about it privately and instead posting a comment about how they are just riding coattails and contributing zilch...for that you are a douche.

Hawg Father of Seoul
12-06-2012, 05:05 PM
Stole the words from my mouth.

Toast
12-06-2012, 09:04 PM
I respect a man who will look me in the eye and tell me what's on his mind. No need to walk on eggshells.

Mo-Dave
12-06-2012, 09:57 PM
No problem here with showing them the door. I have to ask though, are you sure your wife and kids are ready to become 100 percent committed to 100 percent of the cooks? How about telling your buds that you would like to give your family a few chances to help you compete and say do every 2nd or 3rd comp with the old team mates and the others with family. This way you give the family a good taste of what it means and still get some bonding not to mention you still have the original team if say one of your kids gets sick or has other things to do and your wife will need to stay home, then you can ask a team member or two to step in and help. Just a thought. Do you at this time split any winnings?
Dave

DawgPhan
12-07-2012, 08:43 AM
No problem here with showing them the door. I have to ask though, are you sure your wife and kids are ready to become 100 percent committed to 100 percent of the cooks? How about telling your buds that you would like to give your family a few chances to help you compete and say do every 2nd or 3rd comp with the old team mates and the others with family. This way you give the family a good taste of what it means and still get some bonding not to mention you still have the original team if say one of your kids gets sick or has other things to do and your wife will need to stay home, then you can ask a team member or two to step in and help. Just a thought. Do you at this time split any winnings?
Dave


^this. I love cooking with my teammates, but if I ever decided to go back to cooking by myself, I really doubt I could sell it to my wife as "family time" for her to come out and be my dishwasher.

MattG
12-07-2012, 09:33 PM
Iíve been dealing with this myself at the end of the year. Iíve had a few people helping me this year. But it gets painful when youíre the only one paying for everything. I had to cut one lose because of not helping. He wouldnít even bring his own drinks or food then would eat and drink twice as much as me. :doh: That SUCKED. Iím planning on going pro after a two upcoming comps and I do not have the funds anymore to support others. I have a few others that will help when I ask. Itís a family event for us as well. Sometimes my family can come and sometimes not. When they cant I ask others to come and help. But when there is a Comp that is really close I ask all of the people that help me to come and bring their families and we have a great time after turn ins. But there is no better feeling when your teams name is called and the kids can go up with you.

JS-TX
12-08-2012, 12:10 AM
Why should the brand owner give up their brand (team name) unless there was some kind of partnership agreement on the part of all parties? It's the OP's team, team members come and go.

I know what you mean, but I guess it's just a nice departing gesture to offer them. But then again, if it's a new team and new members, why not change the name?

Drzr
12-08-2012, 09:15 PM
II Corinthians 13:11

Drzr
12-08-2012, 09:22 PM
heck no. You want to hang with your family...that is great and to be applauded. Now, instead of not talking to your teammates about it privately and instead posting a comment about how they are just riding coattails and contributing zilch...for that you are a douche.

amen!!!

Pole D
12-09-2012, 09:22 AM
So have you approached them?